Dog Behaviour – How to Get Your Dog to Let Go of Something (ball, bone, sock, etc.)

So the first concept you need to understand is…

If you enter a situation with an attitude that embodies ire, tension and/or forcefulness most humans are not going to want to comply with what you want, unless of course you threaten them with a weapon – the same is so for a dog. 

If you go in to the situation expecting to have an argument – particularly with a dog, you will in most cases get that argument.

Dogs are more perceptive communicators than most people. A dog does know what you are thinking, what you are feeling – usually before you are aware of your thought. …I prove this every time I work with a client and their dog. Are you skeptical? Well many of my clients are at first, but very quickly after the initial shock of realization, they understand just how perceptive their dog really is.  

The angrier, more frustrated, more irritated you are - as you advance toward the dog the greater likelihood that the dog will move to evade you. Look at it in a way that is relative to yourself - if someone advances towards you in such a manner are you likely to stick around or leave? If you do stick around you are going to prepare yourself for a fight. So either way the situation is not supportive of a respectful outcome.

The more physical force you use to pull the item out of the dog’s mouth the more the dog is likely to:

• Clamp his/her bite tighter around the object;
• Attempt to put more of the object in his/her mouth;
• Put greater force into trying to tug the object away from you.

A perfect example – today while on an off-leash walk (with my Boxer Robbie and my GSD x Husky Sarah), Sarah found a small, sharp avian bone, with some flesh and blood still on it. Likely just dropped by a hawk or owl in mid-flight. Now I did not particularly want Sarah to have that bone as it was broken and sharp – it could cause some injury to her innards if she swallowed It. Most people would:

• Panic;  
• Move in to the area (that the dog is occupying) with great agitation;
• Yell in an agitated (emotional) fashion and otherwise become ‘reactive’. 

Sarah is the type of dog that very few humans could control – she spent part of her first year of life as a stray and then spent three months in a pound (shelter). No one adopted her because she was ‘hyper’, ‘dominating’. This young lady ended up on the ‘kill’ list. Anyway after ending up pulled by the rescue I was fostering for, she made her way through several foster homes and one adoptive family…each time being returned for her unruly behaviour…before I took her in.  Sarah can be the Denis-the-Menace of dogs, her nick name could easily be ‘Wile-E-Coyote’ . This was a dog that would never in a million years surrender anything to anybody. Mind you, I think you have to give her credit…her wiliness allowed her to survive on the streets as a stray youngster. 

Well, when I saw Sarah about to pick up that bone, all I had to do was:

• Get her attention (I was about 10 feet away from her) so I vocalized ‘uh’ in a calm, solid tone, at which point she looked at me;
• I held her gaze and indicated to her to ‘leave it’;
• I then calmly walked up, with a smile in my heart and spirit and picked the bone up;
• That was it - end-of;
• Sarah willingly accepted the situation and happily bounced on.
• If instead I had walked up to her with the thought in my head 'you are a bad dog, you are not going to let that go, etc. I would have created the opposite reaction.

I have earned the right to take over a situation (such as the one described above) with Sarah and my other dogs because I have earned their respect. Last week in almost the same spot on the trail, Robbie my Boxer found a fresh, wild turkey wing-bone, with wing and feathers attached…part of a coyote or wolf’s meal – the meal having been disturbed by something or someone! Robbie is another one of my dog’s who had a difficult past. When I first met Robbie he would have attacked a person who tried to take anything from him. And when I say attack I really mean attack. 

Robbie was aggro-reactive (or if you prefer ‘red-zone’) on a scale of 1 to 10, he was a 15.  

As I approached Robbie and his wild turkey 'prize'  I did not feel or project anger, dominance etc. when he picked up the fresh wild turkey wing/bone. I simply walked up to him with my calm, grounded  presence and quietly but firmly put my hand around the part of the bone which was sticking out of his mouth (with foot long feathers attached) and proceeded to do as follows…

If your dog has an edge of the item sticking out of his/her mouth:

• Gently but firmly place your hand on the part of the item that is sticking out (depending on the situation you can also use your foot instead of your hand);
• Don't pull on the item as by doing so you will have just provided the impetuous for an argument in the form of a tug-of-war…remember if you ask for an argument you will get an argument;
• Instead simply take-ownership of that portion of the item by keeping a firm - (but not tense-tight) hold on it;
• Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth in a consciously relaxed and deliberate manner. Don’t allow your mouth to compress into a closed, hard line – if you do you are tense;
• Still yourself physically and be calm in mind - be patient and breathe again;
• Now slowly, quietly, calmly, move your hand to take over a little more of the object – your hand should end-up where the object meets your dog’s mouth;
• Now, no pulling - just calm, firm hold;
• If your dog starts to pull, just retain your hold and still yourself – do not pull back;
• Hold your ground quietly without a word…
• Most humans, unless they are trained to be, have very little patience - where as dogs have a lot of patience. If you do this exercise with:
• Self-disciplined patience and calm:
• While holding your ground for however many seconds it takes while keeping a calm-non-argumentative hold (with both mind and hand);
• While deliberately, consciously breathing;
• Your dog will surrender the object to you.
• This is simply a test of wills - if you can't exceed your dog’s patience you will lose.
• And keep-in-mind, while 30 or 60 seconds may feel like forever to you (because we are impatient as a species) it is, in-fact merely seconds.
• Again - it is a situation where one of you must back down (your dog or yourself). This is a psychological situation as much if not more than a physical situation.
• When used properly, psychological control with calm, slight physical pressure is so much more powerful than physical force – it is also a more safe approach for all involved – which is why it is a method used by dogs themselves. 

If your dog tries to engage in an argument by tugging - keep your hold and still yourself - to gain his respect you have to show him - what you really want - if you move like he is, if you tug and pull he will not respect you as you are then not directing but instead engaging in his argument. 

What do you really want? For your dog to

• Stop – well you must stop first…stop tugging, stop moving about;
• Let go – he won’t let go if you start tugging, he will tug just as you are doing.

Leading by example, leading without hypocrisy demands that you must be that thing first that you want the other being to be.

The point is to let him know in the most quiet but directive of ways (as noted above) that this is the way it is going to be.

This is how a well balanced dog will take over an object from another dog. The method of choice used by such dogs is not intrusive physical force which would result in injury and death. Instead, dogs prefer to use more subtle physically restrained, psychologically powerful means. The Alpha 'thing' is a false concept. In truth dogs prefer leadership – which is not the same as the ‘Alpha’ concept as most people understand the term.

By establishing and adhering to your own self-restraint and self discipline, in body and mind in order to adopt and maintain a quite, non-vocal, calm patience coupled with a firm but non-tense hold - you become a respectful, directive presence. 

This is dog language employes as a well balanced dog would choose to communicate in a non-aggressive manner to another dog in order to claim space or an on object without a fight.

This is a very respectful and psychologically powerful method that requires no physical force, but instead a grounded, self-restrained  presence.

When doing this exercise:

• Make sure you are completely emotionally neutral;
• To firm-up the direction you must make sure that your physical presence is completely aligned with your mental focus. 

As an example -  the thought in your mind would go something like this:

• 'OK, give it up Robbie - inevitably one of us has to surrender and it will not be me';

The attitude with which you say this to yourself must be without ire, without arrogance or frustration - just deliberately grounded, calm.

The method as described above when used to reclaim an object from your dog,  respects the natural way of a dog.

If you take a dog:

• That has learned to back people off by using dominating and aggro-reactive tactics;
• And put that dog in a situation where the human handling/directing the dog, employs force-based tactics:
• You  have nothing new to teach the dog;
• You will not engender the dog’s respect; 
• You may try to dominate the dog using force but that will only further destabilize the dog.

If instead you offer treats in exchange for the object, the dog will:

• Always expect to get a treat for doing something that he should not be doing;
• Learn that an ‘altered state of normal’ is normal;
• Never learn to behave respectfully;
• Never learns to adopt a threshold;
• Never learns to ask permission to take things;
• And, what do you do if you are somewhere, you do not have treats, your dog grabs something and if you don’t successfully retrieve that object from your dog he could ingest it and become ill or otherwise injured?

Both of these approaches (force or treats) exemplify:

• A lack self-control on the human's part;
• A lack of understanding of the intelligence of a dog and a dog's natural skill to communicate.

In contrast - the method which I have described above to take over the situation is a well adjusted dog's way to handle the situation.

It is a…

• Non-aggressive;
• Non-argumentative, and;
• Instructional for the dog.
• This method gains the respect of your dog;
• It requires calm, deliberate, firm, directive, persistent, determined patience on the humans part. 
• These are the same qualities a well balanced dog has. 
• If you want to gain a dog's respect you must adopt and employ the same qualities and techniques.

If you want to earn your dog's respect there is little to no room for human arrogance, frustration or anger.

You should avoid the creation of bad habits which can develop when the wrong approach is used. For example you can have a treat is long as you give this up - use that method on a child and you end up with a manipulative, bad spoiled, ill-adjusted, and overweight kid - it is the same for a dog). 

This is what I teach my clients. This is why I can take an object away from a dog without an adverse reaction from the dog – including dogs who bite people!

Having noted all of this above, some people will still say - offer your dog something else instead - my answer to that is NO. That is a negotiation - and the dog will learn to use it to manipulate, just as a person would. This type of strategy does not teach your dog that is should not take what he does not have your permission to take. And in the process you do learn how to stop the behaviour. Offering something in exchange is an avoidance and works around the issue - in which case it will never actually resolve the issue – you will in the future, continue to have to deal with the issue.

You don't want to negotiate you want to direct, teach and ensure your dog’s safety. 

Notes:

Please note - this article is for information purposes and is not a substitute for an in-person Session with me. When working with dogs I use many techniques - it is important to note that this article may touch on one or several techniques but not all. I select the technique that I use for a particular dog based on my observations of the dog and an intuitive, instinctive assessment of that dog's and its human's individual requirements. For example when I am working with a dog that is hyper sensitive and very physically reactive I will not use voice or touch. I use a lot of therapeutic touch on some dogs, others require the use of herding techniques and so on. Each and every technique must be combined with:

• an understanding of the real intelligence, sensitivity and capability of dogs;
• an understanding of how to read a dog's face and a dog's overall body language;
• an understanding of the full spectrum of ways that humans communicate and dogs communicate; 
• understanding and recognition of the individual that is each dog - no two dogs are the same...taking a 'cookie cutter' approach to techniques is not the way to work with a dog;
• a complete recognition and understanding of all the elements that feed a behaviour and create an issue:
•  the vast majority of people can only identify one or two elements...which vastly inhibits the ability to resolve behavior issues;
• behaviours do not exist in isolation - there are always many elements that feed a single behaviour, there all always multiple behaviours that create a behavioral issue;
• self-restraint and discipline on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• sensitivity, awareness, intuition, instinct and timing on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• to understand, connect with and adapt quickly and effectively to a dog's learning requirements you must be able to employ the same tools a dog uses - acute sensitivity, awareness, instinct, intuition and timing;
• kindness, endurance, consideration, patience, persistence, perspective, the ability and know how to let the past go, the ability to set realistic expectations at any one point in time;
• the creation of structure, rules, boundaries and limitations for each situation at the macro and micro level;
• understanding of all the elements that make up an instruction and direction to a dog...there are multiple steps involved in an instruction - not just one!
• absolute honesty - if you cannot be honest with yourself you will not be able to communicate clearly with a dog.

These are just some of the techniques that I teach my clients - it is a holistic, all-encompassing approach. If you are missing any one element of the above mentioned your success rate will be affected to one degree or another in implementing the techniques offered in the article presented above.

• Training;
• Behaviour Modification;
• Rehabilitation;
• Nutrition;
• Health

Whether you are experiencing dog behavior problems and would like assistance, or just want to bring your dog up to be a well-balanced canine -  I offer both a local and international service for people with one or multiple dogs. 

I work with all breeds - from small (i.e. Yorkie, Pomeranian, Chihuahua, etc.), medium breeds size (including Pit Bulls) and large breed dogs...

 

In-person SessionsDog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Rehabilitation – Ottawa, Ottawa Area, Outaouais, Ottawa Valley

 

International e-Consultation 

Sessions, Advice via email for National and International Clients - Dog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Nutrition, Health 

Your Child and Your Puppy – Creating a Respectful Bond via Touch and Play, at the Right Time in the Right Way

In this article...

1) Key Issues and Awareness;

2) How to Create a Healthy, Mutually Respectful  Relationship

 When working with clients, their children and their puppy this is a topic that I always make sure I address thoroughly. 

When a family engages me - within in the first few weeks of acquiring a puppy, I can make sure that the relationship between puppy and child starts out the right way – thus ensuring that problem situations and behaviours do not develop.

In other cases, I get called in after the puppy has been in the family for months, the puppy and child not having been taught at the outset how to respect each other are now in crisis mode. The puppy has taken over, is jumping, biting, hyper and out-of-control. What happened?  

Well…the dog's people did not fully realize their important role as coach and mentor to the puppy and they also did not understand how to effectively communicate with the puppy.

So What Are Some of the Key Issues To Be Aware Of?

1.0 It Is Important To Understand Your Puppy's Natural Disposition

Most puppies – given the opportunity, will self-regulate to one degree or another. It is the puppy's person who must actively take on the role of encouraging and enabling  normal, healthy natural behaviours - just as you would do with a child.

It is also important to understand that just each human is an individual with their own unique combination of inherited dispositions - consisting of desirable and undesirable tendencies - so it is for the individual puppy.
 
Some puppies are, by natural disposition:

• Calmer, more complacent, less vocal, less pushy;
• While others, for example are more:
• Curious, 
• Persistent, 
• Willful, 
• Determined, etc. 
• Each of these traits - when enabled the right way, can contribute to the formation of a well-adjusted dog, or when enabled the wrong way will led to big behaviour problems.
• More confident and naturally well balanced;
• While others may have a tendency towards insecurity - which can, if enabled develop into anxiety, obsessive or aggressive reactive behaviour

2.0  It is Very Important for a Puppy to get Accustomed to Being Handled:

• Being touched from head to tail, including;
• Having its fur and nails groomed, its teeth and ears examined and cleaned;
• Being picked-up;
• Being turned on its side;
• Not biting if its tail or ears are pulled…

It is equally important to teach the child that he/she must respect the puppy and not constantly invade its space, constantly touch, roughly touch, and insistently rev-up the puppy to play.  





3.0 It Is Important To Support The Puppy in His/Her Natural Daily Rhythm

Dogs are hard-wired to adapt to a routine of work, eat and rest. It is natural for a puppy to want to eat, play and then go off to a quite place to rest. This is a dog’s ‘normal’.  If you think about it, the sequence of work-eat-rest is also a normal and familiar sequence to human behaviour.

When a child is permitted to constantly pester a puppy, the puppy learns an altered state of normal. The puppy is inadvertently taught by the child that being excited all of the time is normal. Couple this with failure to teach structured play to the puppy (yes, puppies as young as 8 weeks old can be taught) and the end result is a ‘hyper’ puppy with little to no social manners.

By that time the puppy has learned:

• To associate humans with high levels of excitement;
• To go over-threshold…no rules, no limits and;
• To never go into a relaxed and calm state.

At this point the puppy’s people are upset with the puppy as it jumps on people, bites without restraint, gets into everything, chews-up shoes, steals gloves, grabs food, runs around like a maniac despite the fact that it may have had sufficient physical exercise.

Who set the puppy up for failure?  The humans inadvertently did.

So First Let’s Talk About ‘When’ To Touch Puppy

Invasion of personal space and lack of consideration in when and how we touch another being (human or canine) is a two-way street. If we desire respect and consideration we must also give respect and consideration.

Dogs are not robots, nor should they be considered slaves to the wants and desires of mankind.  Dogs are intelligent sensitive beings, and like humans – when provided with the opportunity to learn from well-adjusted older members of our respective species - become well adjusted, considerate social beings.

I find the most effective method to help my clients grasp the situation is to show them in real-time relative terms…

You would not like it if your sister, or brother, your friends or child were constantly touching you, getting into your personal space, and they in turn would not appreciate it if you did not respect their space and body. There are times when you require that your personal space be respected.  This is a basic and foundational lesson for a child. In the absence of this learning experience the child can end-up seriously lacking in social grace. This lesson is very important in the journey to becoming a well-balanced, social being.
 

The same lesson is taught to puppies by adult dogs. The lesson is universal – for humans and canines alike.

To teach a child to understand what it feels like for a puppy to have their space constantly invaded, I lean into the child’s personal space and ask them if they feel comfortable. Invariably the answer is ‘NO!’

Then with a little smile on my face and the child, sits with a matching smile on their face - I say to the child ‘and now you know how your puppy feels when you disrespect its personal space’.

  

And for the parents, I always ask, ‘what happens, if you over-stimulate your child – let them get too excited and at the same time allow them to skip their rest time’. The child becomes hyper, agitated and exhausted all at the same time. And so it is for a puppy. If you were to continue to allow the child, on a daily basis to spend the bulk of their time in an over-excited state and be depleted of rest the child would be in a constant altered state of normal. Flooded, anxious, and eventually lose the ability to calm down. And so it is for a puppy.
 

So, should your child constantly pester, touch and invade your dog’s personal space and senses…the answer is NO.

And what is it that humans love so much about dogs? It is the fact that dogs love selflessly.

A puppy can provide the perfect opportunity to teach a child selfless love. To honor the dog, to honor mutual respect, self awareness, self discipline and a reasonable quota of independence, to enable calm and trust, to respect the dog we must also learn to love selflessly.

Both children and adults should share affection with their puppy when the circumstances are mutually beneficial (for dog and human) as discussed in this article.

Your child SHOULD NOT constantly flood your puppy with voice or get in the puppy’s space and pester him/her. Your child SHOULD learn to share mutual warmth and affection in the right way and at the right time. 

How to Touch Puppy

Again let me show you in a way that will be easy for you to relate to. Did you like it when your parents or grandparents ruffled you hair? With one of your hands reach up to your head, place your hand flat against the top of your head and move your hand back and forth quickly on top of your head, Did that feel pleasant? Did it make you feel relaxed? Or was that touch annoying and agitating?

Now instead reach your hand-up to the back of your neck and with a firm pressure behind your finger tips give you neck a slow massage.

Now consider the two types of touch - one touch was annoying and agitating, the other touch was calming and peaceful.  If you don’t want a hyper puppy who associates humans with high states of excitement and agitation then when you touch your puppy enable calm with your touch – not agitation. This is what I teach my clients and their children. I lean over and quickly ruffle a child’s hair, I then ask was that annoying? Children get the concept very quickly. Then it becomes the parent’s job to remind, coach and mentor.

How To Play With Puppy

Your child should learn how to work with puppy at play-time. Teach the puppy to sit, calm, make eye contact and then the child can throw a toy for the puppy to retrieve.  By taking this approach to play time:

The Puppy:

• Has a much needed opportunity to work physically and psychologically.
• Just like humans, dogs need to exercise both their body and their mind in balance.
• The puppy learns that it must connect with its human, ask permission, wait for direction and then take action…this builds a puppy’s confidence the right way.

The Child:

• Also gets to work physically and psychologically;
• Has his/her first opportunity to learn pack leadership;
• The child gains quit, respectful confidence;

Child and Puppy have an opportunity to bond in a mutually beneficial way!

Puppies Have a Natural Need to Chew - Satisfy That Need the Right Way

Puppies, teenage and adult dogs all have a natural need to chew. Read more about that here.

Puppies Require Coaching & Mentoring to Instill Bite Inhibition

Bite inhibition is a behaviour that should be taught and re-inforced (the right way). . I work with a lot of people who did not understand how to teach their dog this important lesson. Not the dogs fault. Sometimes people just don't realize how important it is to impart this lesson when their dog is a cute little puppy. In other cases the people may have tried to address the issue but due to the techniques used may have been unable to translate the need to stop into a lesson that their puppy could understand. Once again:
Offering treats to a puppy or dog that is nipping and biting will not teach bite inhibition;
Using unrestrained physical force and dominating your dog:
May teach a type of bite inhibition to some dogs but in so doing  may create fear in your dog;
May make the dog aggressive;
In either case - as far as I am concerned both of these methods and outcomes are very damaging to the dog. As many of my clients can attest - having used those methods before they worked with me.

It is sometimes difficult for a modern day human to realize that dogs will do exactly as you tell them to do...you can't just give a puppy or dog a direction with your voice. Before you get upset by this statement you need to realize that all animals, whither conscious of the fact or not, use multiple methods to communicate. Its not just your voice that you are communicating with - it is your:

• Facial Expression;
• Body Language;
• How the smaller and larger parts of your body are positioned;
  
• Held in context to your body, and;
  In context to the space that you occupy while still and while in-motion;
• Breathing;
• Scent; and yes, sorry folks;
• Extra sensory perception.

The best method to teach a puppy or dog not to bit is by using the method that a well adjusted dog uses...which is the method that I use. 

 

It is also important to understand that if a puppy is behaving in a very physical manner - jumping on you, biting your clothes, your hair etc. and you become equally physical in your response you will only make your puppy's behaviour more intense...for the reasons stated directly above and in the 'note text' located further below. So if your...

 

Puppy Bites A Child

The puppy is not bad, it simply needs to be taught the right way from the get-go not to bite. And it should be noted that just because a puppy breaks skin does not mean that the puppy intended to do harm...sometimes a nail gets caught or a tooth and accidentally opens up a small wound. If you have not learned how to be an effective communicator you will turn an innocent situation into one that promotes unwanted excitement, fear and aggression. To understand more read:

Aggression in Dogs and How to Avoid Creating It
Unprovoked Dog Bites, Really? 

To Introduce Your Child To Your Puppy

To Stop Your Dog/Puppy From Chewing Things it Should Not Chew 

Notes:

Please note - this article is for information purposes and is not a substitute for an in-person Session with me. When working with dogs I use many techniques - it is important to note that this article may touch on one or several techniques but not all. I select the technique that I use for a particular dog based on my observations of the dog and an intuitive, instinctive assessment of that dog's and its human's individual requirements. For example when I am working with a dog that is hyper sensitive and very physically reactive I will not use voice or touch. I use a lot of therapeutic touch on some dogs, others require the use of herding techniques and so on. Each and every technique must be combined with:

• an understanding of the real intelligence, sensitivity and capability of dogs;
• an understanding of how to read a dog's face and a dog's overall body language;
• an understanding of the full spectrum of ways that humans communicate and dogs communicate; 
• understanding and recognition of the individual that is each dog - no two dogs are the same...taking a 'cookie cutter' approach to techniques is not the way to work with a dog;
• a complete recognition and understanding of all the elements that feed a behaviour and create an issue:
•  the vast majority of people can only identify one or two elements...which vastly inhibits the ability to resolve behavior issues;
• behaviours do not exist in isolation - there are always many elements that feed a single behaviour, there all always multiple behaviours that create a behavioral issue;
• self-restraint and discipline on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• sensitivity, awareness, intuition, instinct and timing on the part of the human who is directing the dog;
• to understand, connect with and adapt quickly and effectively to a dog's learning requirements you must be able to employ the same tools a dog uses - acute sensitivity, awareness, instinct, intuition and timing;
• kindness, endurance, consideration, patience, persistence, perspective, the ability and know how to let the past go, the ability to set realistic expectations at any one point in time;
• the creation of structure, rules, boundaries and limitations for each situation at the macro and micro level;
• understanding of all the elements that make up an instruction and direction to a dog...there are multiple steps involved in an instruction - not just one!
• absolute honesty - if you cannot be honest with yourself you will not be able to communicate clearly with a dog.

These are just some of the techniques that I teach my clients - it is a holistic, all-encompassing approach. If you are missing any one element of the above mentioned your success rate will be affected to one degree or another in implementing the techniques offered in the article presented above.

• Training;
• Behaviour Modification;
• Rehabilitation;
• Nutrition;
• Health

Whether you are experiencing dog behavior problems and would like assistance, or just want to bring your dog up to be a well-balanced canine -  I offer both a local and international service for people with one or multiple dogs. 

I work with all breeds - from small (i.e. Yorkie, Pomeranian, Chihuahua, etc.), medium breeds size (including Pit Bulls) and large breed dogs...

 

 

In-person SessionsDog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Rehabilitation – Ottawa, Ottawa Area, Outaouais, Ottawa Valley

 

International e-Consultation 

Sessions, Advice via email for National and International Clients - Dog Training, Puppy Training, Behaviour Modification, Nutrition, Health 

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